I have spoken about my weight on here before. I have not disclosed how much I weigh because I am not pleased one bit about it. When I was slimmer as when I lived in London I was told I was fat or too big etc. I am naturally curvy and back then I was a 12/14. Now I am bigger. It takes a lot of weight increase to move up a dress size. I was also a lot more active.

I mentioned to older friend that I had gained she asked why and then turn around and said “…. why don’t you just stop eating…”. So yes I must become an anorexic to lose weight. Brilliant! I chose not to answer.

One of my hairdressers (I use 2 different ones – different salon vibes) lost loads of weight on weight watchers. We spoke and she was like, she never ate loads of food, she just ate the wrong foods, the quick fixes. Which is what I do. However I have been forcing myself to bring a packed lunch for work because what they serve in that canteen all smells the same and looks the same.

My friends brother is uber fit and when it comes to fitness he is on it. We had a blackberry messenger conversation the other day. ( it is nice he cares enough to always check on how I am doing ). It started off with me stating I was going to sell my cross trainer for a treadmill. He tells me the cross trainer is better as it works the whole body etc etc. Then the conversation moves onto what am I actually doing how am I getting on with my goals. He says “It’s not hard to lose weight……you need to train your brain too”. I get depressed sometimes and he rubbishes that and says Depression is caused by your own actions. He further says I am weak minded and that I always have excuses so either I am weak or do not want to lose weight!!!

Its like a skinny person telling me how shift excess. What so funny about those above is that they did not know me before weight took hold of me. I went to my cousins christening and got slated by some elders. I know Jamaicans just say it how they see it, no consideration or what. But damn!!! I never asked anyone anything. My cousins were like SoFro you need to trim down, you should have breastfed longer mek de baby suck off some of dat weight. It nah good fe you, you a spoil. If it was not for that man flirting with me I would have felt like a right ugly duckling. It is like people do not seem to realise that I see me each and every moment of the day. I know how my clothes fit.

I am trying to get healthy. I want to concentrate on improving my health than move onto weight loss. My cousin has lost so much weight. She said that she still eats the same amount of food but has changed what she eats. She has cut down on some things too.

So yeah that is what it is.